Well it would be rude not to really wouldn’t it. So who am I? Or more to the point who was I before I became this crumpled, confused person? And who am I determined to keep sight of throughout this?
Well usually I’m random, a little bit crazy (the good kind) and love to laugh. I’m creative – or like to think I am- and enjoy drawing, painting (just splatted colour on canvas mainly) and messing around on Photoshop. I used to sew and make things a lot but since moving – thus living on borrowed carpet with a temperamental hoover, I’m less carefree about making a mess with glue guns and glitter. I used to write poems, I like writing and intend to keep up with some of the writing challenges (check them out here) on here to break the tension of the otherwise sombre posts I’m sure to write. Basically, I like to express myself – well I wouldn’t be blogging otherwise would I?- and I hope to one day have a career that will allow my creative juices to flow.
As for me as a person, I had a pretty standard childhood, parents divorcing resulting in a few minor yet deep routed daddy issues but I think that’s pretty standard for most people to some extent. I had my fair deal of shit when I was a teenager, nothing major, the usual teenage angsty stuff but also a good few things that made me lose faith in people, I was bullied, I was cheated on, I was lied to… for years after I found it hard to trust – which was fair enough- BUT in time I finally found myself; I learned to like myself, to be myself around others and although the experience of the past toughened me up and made me stronger, I feel it also made me a better person.
I’m caring, I’m honest, maybe I’m a little too blunt at times but I don’t do bullshit. I try to be positive and happy, Yes I like to have a good moan now and then but it’s usually with a comical edge to it. I’ve had my fair share of dramas, usually radiating around me but not necessarily caused by me, still I deal with them and try to turn them into positive life lessons.
At the time I married my husband (just 9 short months ago) I felt I was -for the first time- truly happy; I had figured out my morals, my standards and established what was important to me in a relationship. I had learned to trust my gut -and my husband- and that’s what I had done throughout our relationship and so far it had worked. By the time we married I had learned to say how I felt, say what I thought and stand up for myself. Ultimately I had grown some balls and grabbed them with both hands.
After the revelations of the past few weeks I am left so confused, I have basically had our whole relationship stripped back to basics. I have to come to terms with the fact that not only did my husband let me down by lying to me…but so did my gut…and that hurts.
Now you know a little more about me I guess its time I get my hands (or fingertips) dirty and start filling you in on the rest of it…the story of how we came to be in this situation, the story of us…
To be continued