The man I married was loving, sensitive and honest; He was funny, sentimental and he ‘got’ me…the man I married had me well and truly fooled.
It doesn’t matter how we met or where but I suppose I should say that our relationship spiralled rather quickly. We would talk openly and honestly about anything and everything for hours every day, we were each others rocks, we trusted one another…which was a very hard thing for me to do and he knew that. One of the things we initially bonded over was honesty, neither of us saw the point of chatting shit and lying, we believed in truth, in trust and in loyalty. I believed I had found my soul mate, he was my best friend and he told me I was his. Within a year of meeting we were married.
I suppose this would be the perfect time for people to jump in and say ‘serves you right for getting married so fast’ and that’s probably true but it doesn’t change the fact that I am in love with him, I haven’t changed who I am and he would tell you himself that I have been true to my word from day one. I am the person he married, I am the person he met and pretended to fall in love with.
Up to the day he told me how he really felt – or didn’t feel- nothing really bad or significant to these revelations had happened. As far as I knew we were happy, we were content, of course we had our little niggles like every couple but none that were overbearing or dominating to our relationship. I had no clue that this bomb was about to be dropped…but now I’ve had time to digest it and think back things start to make sense…isn’t it annoying when that happens?
Regardless, there is nothing I could have done differently that would have changed the outcome, this admission would have had to come out eventually. I cant change that. All I can do is figure out how to deal with it. Shit happens…but flowers grow out of it.
- Why the words “failed” and “marriage” don’t belong together. (twodifferentgirls.com)
- NO VACANCY: We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve (slityourwristsmagazine.com)
- Trust and Love… (behindthemaskofabuse.com)