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#2 Prove it

12 Apr
Love is not about how much you say 'I love you...

Love is not about how much you say ‘I love you,’ but how much you can prove that it’s true. (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

I text him one night and told him I missed him ‘despite not telling me a genuine, good thing today’ wink wink nudge nudge lol lol etc etc

The morning after, he came home and found me in the kitchen; he looked flustered and anxious so immediately I was concerned as to what was wrong. He said he wanted to talk to me -my heart sank and I took a deep breath preparing for more bad news. Noticing this he took my hand and reassured me that it was nothing bad, ‘it’s a good thing…it’s the good, GENUINE, positive thing’

*sigh of relief*

He looked me in the eye and said:

‘I think I love you, I mean I don’t get the butterflies or the tummy feelings but I know that I do want to be with you…forever, I like being with you, I know that I never want to lose you and I want to make you happy…I mean…that’s got to be love …right?’

*smiles*

I hugged him after and said I loved him back (and front) and we went about our day as normal – without saying it again.

I’m taking that as it is, its honest, its not covered with glittery, flowery shit that makes me feel amazing; its not bullshit that he knows I want to hear because he would have elaborated and made it sound like something more if that were the case. Its basic, its blunt, its him trying his best to make sense of his own feelings – and that makes me love him so much more, purely for trying to understand himself and expressing those thoughts to me.

I believe it, probably because I really really want it to be true but what would be the point of lying at the stage? And about something so important? I haven’t been begging him to tell me he loves me or trying to persuade him that he cares; I have however asked him questions about it, about him in general which would make him think about things himself and that was what he concluded.

I have noticed since we stopped saying it that day that every now and then, for example when we are cuddled up in bed and I’m just falling asleep he will kiss me on the cheek or forehead 3 times in a row -which is a new thing for him- and I THINK that’s his way of stopping saying ‘I LOVE YOU’ at times when we usually would. Almost like a secret replacement – which I’ve already figured out. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

(Hides and waits for the bubble bursting comments to stop)

xBx

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33 Comments

Posted by on April 12, 2013 in Honestly...

 

Tags: , ,

33 responses to “#2 Prove it

  1. Mohamed Ossama

    April 12, 2013 at 10:58 am

    This is just pure beauty ❤
    May it go on and on forever.

     
  2. Doggy's Style

    April 12, 2013 at 11:06 am

    I’m not bursting your bubble, I relate to the “showing” and not “saying”. Saying I love you for me is like you are are asking me to drink cod liver oil, my person knows that when I want to say it I slap him gently on the cheek and pull his ear, he figured me out.

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      April 12, 2013 at 11:51 am

      *phew* 😉 my bubble is intact lol. Its good to know, Ive always liked hearing it…but i guess thats changed now lol and youre right, showing is probably more meaningful anyway xB

       
  3. Charles Yallowitz

    April 12, 2013 at 11:53 am

    The words definitely hold more meaning and impact when said without a trigger.

     
  4. WyndyDee

    April 12, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    Reblogged this on Wyndy Dee and commented:
    After 25 years of marriage, and still in live with my best friend, agreed. It’s how we are to each other on a daily basis that lets us know there is no one else for us. A smile, a touch, a wink, doing somerhing around the house, an “I Love You” or just calling me babe…

     
  5. beetleypete

    April 12, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    It’s OK, I have put my bubble buster away in its box! There are times when you have to realise that what constitutes love or affection for you, is completely alien to someone else. If you are determined to work through all this, and why not, then you will have to alter your expectations, and accept different versions of how you do things. Part of me still thinks that it really would not hurt him to help you out, with more affection, and saying things that you want to hear. At least he is trying to talk about it, and beginning to realise he wants to be with you always. He now has to work out how that is going to happen. As ever, Pete. X

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      April 12, 2013 at 1:23 pm

      Thanks Pete, read this and nodded along the whole way. He has been more affectionate recently but its me who having a hard time reacting well to it and I am stubbornly dead set on him being honest with me.
      Its getting better though, youre right, i need to accept changes and the fact that they NEED to be made in order to progress xB

       
  6. John W. Howell

    April 12, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Saying isn’t always meaning. Showing is 100% honest. – John

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      April 12, 2013 at 1:25 pm

      Thinking about it logically I agree, it makes sense, but the transition from hearing it to not is very hard for me…Im getting there but its always easier said than done…which just backs up your point ha ha 😉 xB

       
  7. greenembers

    April 12, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    This makes me happy! I see no bubble to burst here. 🙂

     
  8. behindthemaskofabuse

    April 12, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    I don’t often feel the googly lovey dovy feelings either since i live fairly numb, what i do know is when he left to go away to work, I cried, and i felt terrible pain at the thought, of him never coming back, that’s how i know i love him, when i can’t feel. i’m glad you got those gifts from him xo

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      April 13, 2013 at 10:57 am

      Thank you for this insight. Yes I would say that’s love, I think that’s the way my husband sees it, he’s felt that pain… It’s a horrible feeling but it’s a feeling so we shall take it as a good thing 😉 always hope xB

       
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 13, 2013 at 4:31 pm

        it is a feeling, we live numb because when we feel, we mostly feel intense pain. as a result feeling is really scary. living numb is also how we survived, so we have to learn how to feel one baby step at a time, as we do it gets worse before better, but i have little bits a time been feeling some of the good too. 🙂 there is hope!

         
      • Comfortably Numb

        April 13, 2013 at 9:22 pm

        Always hope 😉

         
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 13, 2013 at 9:36 pm

        i truly believe that, how are you doing?

         
      • Comfortably Numb

        April 13, 2013 at 11:27 pm

        I’m doing better, thank you – though I grated my thumb into dinner so I’m having to finger text with the wrong hand lol x

         
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 14, 2013 at 12:33 am

        oh no! that’s so painful! i won’t even ask what thumb casserole is like! ugh…ouch!

         
      • Comfortably Numb

        April 14, 2013 at 10:16 am

        ha ha it was thumb pizza…and it was grim

         
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 14, 2013 at 4:01 pm

        well that’s a new recipe, quite likely not one to try again?! i hope it’s not too painful. xo

         
      • Comfortably Numb

        April 14, 2013 at 4:07 pm

        Ha ha no its ok now, just a few nice cuts but it’s right on the knuckle so bending it is icky…. Mmm thumb pizza ha ha xB

         
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 14, 2013 at 4:44 pm

        oh no on the knuckle! as long as you can blog then things will be okay right?! lol

        don’t bend and let’s put that pizza recipe far away! lol

         
      • Comfortably Numb

        April 14, 2013 at 4:47 pm

        My husband thought it was hilarious to then ask for more cheese….
        “sure… With thumb or without?”

         
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 14, 2013 at 4:57 pm

        ahaha! now that’s funny! which did you choose? 😉

         
      • Comfortably Numb

        April 14, 2013 at 6:31 pm

        No that was my response to him…he chose without…but i put a little thumb in there anyway 😉

         
      • behindthemaskofabuse

        April 14, 2013 at 7:05 pm

        well nothing like extra flavouring! 😉

         
  9. behindthemaskofabuse

    April 12, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    oh yeah and my Hubby is mostly unable to show affection or be affectionate, but he does do it in other ways, not always easy for me, he has his issues, but i know part of it can be my numbness too.

     
  10. Kira

    April 13, 2013 at 12:38 am

    I know this might sound strange coming from a woman, but I almost never say “I love you.” It is in the little things I do for my man. It’s the neck massages, cooking his favorite dinner after he’s had a bad day at work, surprising him with lunch at work, etc. I struggle with showing affection…so if your Hubby is like that too I’d say he’s coming along very nicesly!!! No bubble bursting 🙂

     

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