I text him one night and told him I missed him ‘despite not telling me a genuine, good thing today’ wink wink nudge nudge lol lol etc etc
The morning after, he came home and found me in the kitchen; he looked flustered and anxious so immediately I was concerned as to what was wrong. He said he wanted to talk to me -my heart sank and I took a deep breath preparing for more bad news. Noticing this he took my hand and reassured me that it was nothing bad, ‘it’s a good thing…it’s the good, GENUINE, positive thing’
*sigh of relief*
He looked me in the eye and said:
‘I think I love you, I mean I don’t get the butterflies or the tummy feelings but I know that I do want to be with you…forever, I like being with you, I know that I never want to lose you and I want to make you happy…I mean…that’s got to be love …right?’
I hugged him after and said I loved him back (and front) and we went about our day as normal – without saying it again.
I’m taking that as it is, its honest, its not covered with glittery, flowery shit that makes me feel amazing; its not bullshit that he knows I want to hear because he would have elaborated and made it sound like something more if that were the case. Its basic, its blunt, its him trying his best to make sense of his own feelings – and that makes me love him so much more, purely for trying to understand himself and expressing those thoughts to me.
I believe it, probably because I really really want it to be true but what would be the point of lying at the stage? And about something so important? I haven’t been begging him to tell me he loves me or trying to persuade him that he cares; I have however asked him questions about it, about him in general which would make him think about things himself and that was what he concluded.
I have noticed since we stopped saying it that day that every now and then, for example when we are cuddled up in bed and I’m just falling asleep he will kiss me on the cheek or forehead 3 times in a row -which is a new thing for him- and I THINK that’s his way of stopping saying ‘I LOVE YOU’ at times when we usually would. Almost like a secret replacement – which I’ve already figured out. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
(Hides and waits for the bubble bursting comments to stop)
- how to listen to the nudges of your heart. (truelovejunkie.com)
- Doodles and Scribbles: A Bubble of Happiness (dreamspinnerextraordinaire.wordpress.com)
- bubble (alicelaird.wordpress.com)
- Let me prove my love to you (blakecrystal.wordpress.com)
- Love Defined (loveanewteachingonlove.wordpress.com)
- My definition of love. (daredodie.wordpress.com)
- What’s YOUR definition of REAL Love? By Brian Cimins (briancimins.com)
- Love, an illusion? (subjectivereasoning.wordpress.com)