I know what this “thing” is, I don’t know ALL details or the extent of the link between it and whatever happens in the bedroom….and I’m not sure I want to know … But I know I need to in order to understand it… And he definitely needs to talk to his therapist about it in order to do that. What I do understand is why he’s taken so long to come out with it…
He came home from his therapist appointment and I asked how it went.
He started telling his therapist everything and she stopped him and asked if he was comfortable telling her. He said no so she said she doesn’t want him to tell her until he’s comfortable (I believe this by the way, if he was going to lie about it he would have just said that he had told her… He knows I’m meeting with her soon anyway so lying would be pointless) they then went on to discuss his reasons why he’s not comfortable.
He said he doesn’t want telling anyone to take away or add from it. I asked him to clarify what he meant… Was the “it” the thoughts he had or…? He said no he was worried about our reactions and that it would change our opinions of him. I asked why he would care what we thought and he told me that he cared because its not nice stuff…it could then change his views on himself… His self worth… Which is already lower than low.
I asked what he thought would make him more comfortable… What would make him talk about it…? He said he doesn’t know and that that’s what they are working on in sessions from now on. She is also sending me an email with a link to an article about “people like him” so once I have that I’ll share it with you.
Apparently she asked him to list 3 positives about himself and he struggled so he told her that I had been asking him for a positive, genuine, good happy thing every other day…like I’ve written about here (he’s still been doing them btw I just haven’t blogged all of them) She said I was smart (yay me) and wants me to up it to three times a day. – challenge accepted.
I don’t know whether she wants me to ask him good things about himself or keep it as it is (and he wasn’t sure either) so I’ve contacted her to clarify – whether she’s allowed to or not I don’t know (probably not) so if that’s the case I’ll get him to call and ask himself.
So I suppose the main thing is that she now knows that there is a lot more to come, he’s admitted that much and started the ball rolling. Its frustrating as hell but…I get it.
- I love running into my therapist outside of therapy. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. (neophytetherapist.wordpress.com)
- I Believe in Signs. Do you? (girrlearth.com)
- The Therapist’s slippers. (therapynutloops.wordpress.com)
- Seeking therapy (meanxietyme.wordpress.com)
- Should I keep seeing this therapist? (ask.metafilter.com)
- Approaching the feelings…. (readystudent.wordpress.com)