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Isn’t it Ironic? Wish you were here

14 Jun

“Wish You Were Here”

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

The second time I met my husband was a month after our first meeting, we had spent the time in between talking constantly, texting, messaging, skyping, calling…getting to know each other inside out. we fell in love during those conversations – without actually saying it- we missed each other terribly and couldn’t wait to see each other again…so understandably the next time we met we were both anxious about whether our feelings would grow on a physical level too. They did, we spent the night with friends, meeting people, having fun; we were finally able to touch each other, to hold each other…. That night was amazing but of course before we knew it it was time to part ways again for another few weeks.

A friend of ours was strumming away on his guitar and began to play ‘wish you were here’. he played (and sang) it beautifully. high on emotions the song highlighted that even more and from that point onwards it became our song.

We had it at our wedding ceremony to play us out, I made table decorations from the sheet music, I would listen to it whenever I missed him, he learned to play it on the guitar…I had ‘wish you were here’ engraved on his wedding ring, written on my wedding shoes…the song and that line meant so much to us … but now…when I read/hear the lyrics they take a different meaning.

Wish YOU were here… I do! I wish HE was here, that person I fell in love with, the person I thought I was marrying…but he’s not and the chances are HE will never be here again…and god that hurts! The lyrics seem to taunt me… so you think you can tell? Can you? Can you tell its all bullshit?? Can you tell the difference between the real me and the mask i wear? can you? really?? …NO! I couldn’t!

‘We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.’

Two lost souls…I think I may change my tagline to that because it sums us up perfectly right now, its what we are – lost. Going round and round, trying to figure this out, trying to find ourselves…trying to find each other

HOPEFULLY it wont be long till we find HIM…the real him and no he won’t be the same, WE wont be the same but I can get to know him, I can fall in love with him all over again; I cant wait for that to happen, I cant wait to be with him again and I am positive about the future… but some days this dull, nagging ache in my heart just wont leave and I realise its because I just miss us too much…I miss HIM too much; I wish HE was here :/

xBx

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33 Comments

Posted by on June 14, 2013 in Isn't it ironic?

 

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33 responses to “Isn’t it Ironic? Wish you were here

  1. beetleypete

    June 14, 2013 at 8:40 am

    You may well have the chance to do it all again, to experience that excitement and anticipation for a second time. Something to look forward to, when everything seems at its darkest.
    As ever, Pete. X

     
  2. audrina1759

    June 14, 2013 at 8:45 am

    I have to say this is one of deepest post I have read here on WP. I pray things work out for you. And by the way you have a wonderful blog.

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      June 14, 2013 at 4:17 pm

      Thank you, welcome to my blog – get ready for some deep stuff :/ BUT its not as deep as when I first started so thats got to be a good sign πŸ™‚ xB

       
  3. the invisible woman

    June 14, 2013 at 9:08 am

    masks? invisibility? Seems there is so much going on in marriages…and not in a healthy way

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      June 14, 2013 at 4:17 pm

      Yup, welcome to my world :/ xB

       
      • the invisible woman

        June 14, 2013 at 4:20 pm

        maybe we should form a sad-married-women club…

         
      • Comfortably Numb

        June 14, 2013 at 4:43 pm

        Ha ha noooo we need to form a ‘been-through-hell-but-came-out-fighting-with-a-tan’ club πŸ˜‰

         
      • the invisible woman

        June 14, 2013 at 5:12 pm

        Can’t join then, tan’s not up to much and have a feeling that hell is just round the corner…

         
  4. Olivia Stocum

    June 14, 2013 at 10:37 am

    I have felt this way too. Hang on there, sweetheart!

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      June 14, 2013 at 4:19 pm

      Glad I’m not the only one – not that I really ever thought I was as far as music and emotions go, Thank you Olivia xB

       
  5. Charles Yallowitz

    June 14, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Hold onto the spark and it should return. Ever think of doing a small, ‘second wedding’ when you find HIM? Like a vow renewal thing that you can shoot for to get extra motivation and strength.

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      June 14, 2013 at 3:47 pm

      Yeah we wanted to do that from the start as we married with no family there so wanted to wait and do a big one later anyway – maybe one day we can do it again but with even MORE meaning xB

       
      • Charles Yallowitz

        June 14, 2013 at 3:59 pm

        Sounds like a great goal to fight for.

         
      • Comfortably Numb

        June 14, 2013 at 4:42 pm

        I agree Charles, I hadn’t thought about it that way before, In fact its our anniversary coming up next month and I had been anxious about it – I’m not quite sure how I feel about it at the moment – of course I’m happy we made it a year lol but theres the flip side of the old us and the real us etc BUT looking past that and further ahead…. yeah I can do that, I like that πŸ™‚ Thank you xB

         
      • Charles Yallowitz

        June 14, 2013 at 4:46 pm

        You’re welcome. Good luck. πŸ˜€

         
  6. WyndyDee

    June 14, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Oh sweetie, I just wanna hug you! I know it’s tough, but keep the faith that you will find HIM again, but a real, happy HIM that will enjoy life with you and it will be even better. Girl, I’ve been with my husband 27 years, there are times I didn’t recognize either of us and wondered what the hell I was doing…but in the end, I love him and the good days far outnumber the bad! Chin up! It’s a new day in the journey. You are loved!! Hugs!

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      June 14, 2013 at 4:20 pm

      Thanks Wyndy, here is hoping πŸ™‚ (hugs back atcha) xB

       
  7. Mocha

    June 14, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    you CAN and you WILL…trust in the universe and in your marriage…BIG HUG…know that the most important part of the future is HOPE…

     
    • Mocha

      June 14, 2013 at 1:04 pm

      PS…I do love the hell out of that song…

       
    • Comfortably Numb

      June 14, 2013 at 4:24 pm

      I CAN…I WILL..I CAN…I WILL…. only if YOU say (and do) it with me Mocha πŸ˜‰ Some days hope is all I have, its the thing can keeps me going…SOME days but even on those days having HOPE is better than nothing πŸ˜‰ xB (P.s how are you doing?) xx

       
      • Mocha

        June 15, 2013 at 9:15 pm

        Hope is and continues to be the greatest thing we have…I am doing ok…day to day my dear…day to day

         
  8. writingthebody

    June 14, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    Yes a good song too. Not sure about the album, or the group in fact. But it is a good song on one of their best albums…anyway, just raving. And wow, there is stuff going on again back centre stage relationship wise….an award for you, of course. But sort of sorry to hear that….sort of, although it is facing up time I guess,….I hope. http://writingthebody.wordpress.com/

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      June 14, 2013 at 4:29 pm

      Yup, centre stage again, to be honest its up and down day by day, memories, triggers and then as close to normal as we get. I think my blog is more up and down than my husband and I are in day to day life, the blog lets me pour it out and direct my deepest thoughts away from us – it gives us a chance to progress together I think.
      Another award?? Thank you πŸ™‚ I still havent done the last post but I will do soon πŸ™‚ xB

       
      • writingthebody

        June 14, 2013 at 11:21 pm

        Just the questions….don’t feel oblighed with the rest of it.

         
  9. Katie Sullivan

    June 14, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    Your words just make my hear ache – but in a happy/sad way. I hope you find each other!

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      June 14, 2013 at 4:37 pm

      Thank you Katie, same here πŸ˜‰ Bittersweet definitely xB

       
  10. Olivia Stocum

    June 14, 2013 at 3:23 pm

    I’ve awarded you the Liebster Award. http://theclaymoreandsurcoat.com/2013/06/14/liebster-award/ ❀ Olivia

     
  11. Solothefirst

    June 14, 2013 at 11:58 pm

    Hi there, I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. This is a no pressure award I just wanted to share with everyone how much I enjoy your blog!
    http://solothefirst.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/liebster-award-thanks/

     

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