About
Hi, I’m Beth
Until a few weeks ago I was happily married to – whom I thought was- my soul mate, it turns out I was wrong.
Through an unbelievable turn of events I discovered that our entire relationship has been a lie because- by his own admission- he is numb. He believes he doesn’t love me, he believes he never has and he fears he never will… But he wants to.
We THINK he has PTSD (click here to find out more) due to a haunting past, he has accepted that he needs professional help and he has asked that I help him through it. I know it’s going to be hard, I realise some people will wonder why I’m staying, but I also know that if it is what we think then it’s an illness…i wouldn’t leave him if we found out he had cancer… And this illness can be helped.
So this is my blog, firstly explaining the back story (which by the way I have done in separate posts, as trying to condense over a years worth of stuff into one was never going to happen…so for part 1 click here) and how these revelations came to light, but mainly as a place for me to express myself, a place to grieve the loss of our past, to document the trials we are sure to go through and to hopefully discover that we aren’t alone in this.
He has become comfortably numb
xBx
Comfortably Numb 
beetleypete
March 18, 2013 at 10:02 am
Hello you. Thanks for visiting me in Norfolk. I am looking forward to seeing a lot more from you, so I will be following your blog. Liking the ‘leather look’. X Pete.
Comfortably Numb
March 18, 2013 at 10:55 am
I was hoping you’d say that 🙂 nice to have your support Pete x
behindthemaskofabuse
March 18, 2013 at 4:21 pm
I’m sorry to hear that. Just be aware, that you are going to need major support too! It’s too big a thing to carry on your own. You won’t be able to fix it. Thank you so much for visiting my blog. xo
Comfortably Numb
March 18, 2013 at 10:26 pm
Thank you for the comment, I am currently having counselling sessions and talk to one trusted friend regularly but aside from that they’re the only people really in my support network at the moment. A few people know but they are either as shocked as I am and lost for words or they disapprove of me staying with him so I’ve had to edit out a lot (defeats the object of talking about it really)
I’m hoping that by blogging I can not only express myself/rant/vent but also learn more about it and get input from others be it words of encouragement or just another view point. I am logical and inquisitive so by learning more about it – and understanding- hopefully I can get my head around it and start my own healing process.
I know I do need to talk to some more people about it eventually but until he’s settled in therapy a little I don’t want to rock the boat (he’s embarrassed about going) and put him off. I know I can’t fix him but I’m sure as hell sticking around to help/support/encourage him Bx
behindthemaskofabuse
March 18, 2013 at 10:38 pm
You are both very courageous! I’m so glad you’re both not totally alone, my Hubby has had to deal with me and all the abuse I lived through, not being able to feel, or trust, living with PTSD and BDD. If you ever need to talk or vent, I’m here with a listening ear. I’m sorry for what you’re both going through. My heart goes out to you both.
My email is http://www.tellsafe@hotmail.com
I also have a website with a forum that is about abuse,and affects for men and women. It’s brand new. You’re welcome if you would want.
http://www.buckwheatsrisk.com
Comfortably Numb
March 18, 2013 at 10:42 pm
Wow thank you so much, I will check it out. And thank you for the offer of your ear (lol) I’m sure I’ll get enough ranting done through my posts -so future feedback/opinions/experience on those would be great- but it’s good to know I have a direct (hidden) port of call should I need it. Thank you very much Bx
behindthemaskofabuse
March 18, 2013 at 11:12 pm
You’re very welcome, anytime, you’re not alone! I’ve found this WP community to be amazing! I hope you will too. 🙂 xo
crazybunny66
March 19, 2013 at 6:19 pm
Runt and rave as much as you like, you’ll always have an open ear and honest opinion with us! xx
Comfortably Numb
March 19, 2013 at 6:20 pm
Thanks crazybunny 😉 Bx
Donna Gwinnell Weidner
March 20, 2013 at 3:38 am
Sending you a supportive hug!
Comfortably Numb
March 20, 2013 at 6:09 am
Thank you Bx
Catmandue
March 26, 2013 at 8:01 am
Hi there… it’s me again…
http://books.google.ca/books?id=ddZKke608rMC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=true
I think you will find this to be an interesting book… I’ve read it twice, cover to cover. I was lucky, and was able to check it out from a library both times I read it.
.rob.
Comfortably Numb
March 26, 2013 at 11:50 am
Thank you (again) i will take a look when i get a chance – i also intend to read through your posts when time allows me to do so properly so you’ll be hearing from me soon 🙂 xB
Catmandue
March 26, 2013 at 5:21 pm
Thank you! I am glad to have anyone by the blog to read some of the posts on it. My larger hope is that if you like it, you may mention to people you know, and they’ll come by and mention it to their friends, and so on and so on 🙂
Comfortably Numb
March 26, 2013 at 5:33 pm
I think we all secretly hope that 😉
Catmandue
March 26, 2013 at 5:36 pm
Heh… no fooling you is there? 🙂
Comfortably Numb
March 26, 2013 at 5:47 pm
Ha ha nope 🙂
Debbie
March 29, 2013 at 12:10 pm
Thank you for noticing, and linking, a post from Shadows. You are on an amazing journey; where it will take you, no one knows. When it will end will be never for the road of discovery continues until the moment of death.
Do not give up hope. Listen to only what is Truth. Never forget reality often eskews the Truth.
I have found that blogging to be a great place to make discovery a more concrete place to rest. Bless you.
Comfortably Numb
March 29, 2013 at 1:12 pm
Thank you so much, Ive had a tough day (well a tough few months as you have seen) but your words have snapped me back to reality so thank you.
xB
siobhanthehack
April 1, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Beautifully brave blog. Really inspirational and educational I’m learning so much from this. Glad you found me (again?) xx
Comfortably Numb
April 1, 2013 at 6:11 pm
Again 🙂 we followed each other from a previous blog but shhh xB
siobhanthehack
April 1, 2013 at 6:36 pm
Thought so 🙂 I’ll say no more 😉 x
Comfortably Numb
April 1, 2013 at 8:42 pm
😉 thank you x
terry1954
April 2, 2013 at 9:45 pm
I am so sorry to read this, but I have hope because I see your strength and his desire to be helped. God bless my friend
Comfortably Numb
April 2, 2013 at 9:49 pm
Thank you 🙂
Drops of Ink
April 4, 2013 at 1:51 am
I think you’re very brave, and stronger than you know, for everything you are going through. My thoughts are with you. 🙂
Thank you for stopping by and visiting my page.
Comfortably Numb
April 4, 2013 at 8:31 am
Thank you back 😉
petitemagique
April 14, 2013 at 11:41 am
Hey Beth,
Thank you so much for visiting my blog and following me!
I wandered through your blog as well a little bit, and I just wanted to say that I think you are a very brave and strong woman to do this! Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly!
Lots of love,
Patty
Comfortably Numb
April 14, 2013 at 1:39 pm
Thank you Patty, it means a lot…welcome to my blog and Im looking forward to seeing more of your stuff 🙂 xB
crazybunny66
April 22, 2013 at 2:20 pm
gotch 😉 check it out : http://crazybunny66.wordpress.com/2013/04/22/may-i-introduce-the-interesting-blog-award/
Comfortably Numb
May 8, 2013 at 2:03 pm
Although this was a while ago…thanks 😉
writingthebody
April 24, 2013 at 1:28 pm
Sorry, should have read this first…apologies…he does need to learn to touch himself, all the same!
Comfortably Numb
April 24, 2013 at 2:16 pm
Please see the reply on the other post xB
aj vosse
April 24, 2013 at 8:58 pm
Sobering… thanks for hitting the ‘follow’.
I’ve never encountered the disease before so I’ll be visiting and reading. I wish you more than luck… I wish you comfort without numb… just don’t you also become comfortably numb… for the wrong reasons!
I hope I’m making sense… 😉 There are so many other Pink Floyd titles that
aj vosse
April 24, 2013 at 9:01 pm
SORRY, I was still at it when I inadvertently hit the post comment! To complete…
…. so many Pink Floyd titles that could be used… why not start with ‘Shine on you Crazy Diamond!
Comfortably Numb
April 24, 2013 at 9:34 pm
ha ha very fitting indeed.
I was thinking just today actually about changing my name…or at least wondering how long it would be until i was in a position where it would be reight to do so…maybe something along the lines of ‘another brick in the wall’…rebuilding etc 9im sure you got it lol
It is a sobering ‘about me’ page and at the time of starting this it was a major low BUT it gets better…and then worse…and then better again. Hopefully my original, happy self comes through a little more in the more recent posts; even in the more serious ones i try to throw in a few funny bits…thats just my coping mechanism i guess.
Thanks for visiting 🙂
xB
Comfortably Numb
April 24, 2013 at 9:35 pm
PS as for the follow, i have skimmed a few of your posts and so far i like your tone (a tad sarcastic) so im looking forward to reading more. Some of your topics may not be to my taste but ill give them a go…maybe the way you write will keep me reading…and at least add another ‘like’ to your tally 😉
crazybunny66
April 25, 2013 at 7:22 pm
Thanks again xxx
Comfortably Numb
May 8, 2013 at 2:04 pm
Youre welcome 🙂
Nowan Zen
April 25, 2013 at 8:55 pm
Love the Pink Floyd reference. I’m sorry to learn of your situation. Hope you don’t mind if I peruse your words and enjoy your writings.
Comfortably Numb
April 25, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Thank you – go ahead 🙂
Nowan Zen
April 25, 2013 at 9:09 pm
Try not to giggle while I poke around. makes me a bit nervous.
Ignore the guy wandering about your blog as though he were lost. He is. Please return him to the nearest coffee shop and all will be well. 🙂
Comfortably Numb
April 25, 2013 at 9:15 pm
Ha ha 🙂
hastywords
May 2, 2013 at 4:20 pm
Everyone has there “thing” my husband has been there through mine best he can and I will be through his best I can. It is all we can ask for in Love I think…. I understand your staying…despite his wondering if he felt love…sometimes love doesn’t feel as we would expect.
Comfortably Numb
May 8, 2013 at 2:04 pm
it sure doesnt
BUT we work with what weve got 😉 xB
hastywords
May 2, 2013 at 4:20 pm
If you ever feel like writing a poetic duet with me on the subject let me know..email me 🙂
Comfortably Numb
May 8, 2013 at 2:04 pm
😉
helenarollason
May 5, 2013 at 11:58 pm
Guess what.. I’ve nominated you for a Liebster award! Yay!
Follow my link to get all the instructions and what not.
And keep up the good work! 🙂 All the best.
http://helenarollason.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/for-the-love-of-liebster/
Comfortably Numb
May 6, 2013 at 7:37 am
Ooh thank you 🙂
Al
May 8, 2013 at 1:07 pm
Hey Beth! I have nominated you for the Liebster Blog Awards, hope you’d accept it and pass it on! Here’s how: http://mellifluousvoice.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/my-first-award-nomination-the-liebster-blog-awards/
Thanks for having a great blog. 🙂
Comfortably Numb
May 8, 2013 at 2:02 pm
ooh thank you 🙂 I have only just been nominated for the same award by someone else so to get it twice in one week is nice 🙂 I havent done my thank you post yet so ill be sure to add this one when i do 🙂 xB
Al
May 8, 2013 at 2:03 pm
That’s awesome! Great that you haven’t done it yet and can do them at the same time 🙂 Good job with your blog 😀
Comfortably Numb
May 8, 2013 at 2:05 pm
Thank you xB
Comfortably Numb
May 10, 2013 at 2:56 pm
🙂
toad (chris jensen)
May 12, 2013 at 5:28 pm
Thank you looking at something about me
Comfortably Numb
May 26, 2013 at 8:37 pm
I’m sorry I havent replied sooner your comment slipped through the comments net…Thank YOU for repaying the favour 🙂
The Irish Wench
May 14, 2013 at 3:34 am
Sorry to hear about your struggles, it is always hard on a couple when one has serious problems that they need help in getting fixed. I wish you all the best and admire you for sticking beside your hubby! I hope you both have the strength to move forward in your relationship.
~Irish~
Comfortably Numb
May 26, 2013 at 8:38 pm
Another comment which I’ve only just found (sorry) Thank you for your kind words Irish xB
petitemagique
May 20, 2013 at 12:44 am
Hey Beth! 🙂
I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/three-more-awards/
Comfortably Numb
May 20, 2013 at 10:59 am
ooh thank you 🙂
Charles Yallowitz
May 20, 2013 at 1:03 am
I nominated you for the Seed of Light Award. Thank you for all of your inspiring blog posts. http://legendsofwindemere.com/2013/05/19/seed-of-light-award/
Comfortably Numb
May 20, 2013 at 10:59 am
oooh never heard of that one before 🙂 Thank you Charles 🙂
Charles Yallowitz
May 20, 2013 at 11:01 am
You’re welcome. It’s a new one to me too.
Charles Yallowitz
May 21, 2013 at 10:26 pm
I nominated you for the Semper Fidelis Award. It’s a brand new blogging award made by Patty. http://legendsofwindemere.com/2013/05/21/semper-fidelis-award/
Comfortably Numb
May 22, 2013 at 8:51 pm
Thank you 🙂
petitemagique
May 25, 2013 at 1:40 pm
Nominated you for the Most Influential Blogger Award!
Comfortably Numb
May 25, 2013 at 4:48 pm
Ooh thank you 🙂 – got some other awards to post next week so I’ll add this one to it 🙂 xB
A. Mittal
June 2, 2013 at 9:07 am
I have nominated you for the bunch of awards. Please find the link here- http://ethicalhedonism.wordpress.com/2013/06/02/its-certainly-raining-awards/
Happy Blogging 🙂
Comfortably Numb
June 2, 2013 at 11:49 am
Ooh thank you 🙂 I’ll post about them in the week xB
The Irish Wench
June 13, 2013 at 12:55 am
You are such a joy to have as a writing friend and in my Reader, I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.
Follow this link to see my post about the award, congrats and keep writing! 🙂
http://ourgrainofsand.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
Comfortably Numb
June 13, 2013 at 7:27 am
Ooh thank you very much 🙂
petitemagique
June 16, 2013 at 10:23 pm
Nominated you an Award! http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/2013/06/17/150-followers-and-more-awards/
Lots of love to you
Comfortably Numb
June 17, 2013 at 9:50 am
Thank you 🙂 xB
Nowan Zen
July 3, 2013 at 7:33 pm
By the By, Take a bow, you have another award. Tah Dah: http://notlostjustweird.com/2013/07/03/whoda-thunk-it/
Comfortably Numb
July 4, 2013 at 10:21 am
Thank you 🙂
Nowan Zen
July 4, 2013 at 1:26 pm
You are welcome. You deserve awards and fun.
Comfortably Numb
July 6, 2013 at 3:56 pm
🙂
petitemagique
July 5, 2013 at 10:56 pm
I nominated you for the Unique Leaves Award!
Comfortably Numb
July 6, 2013 at 9:34 am
Ooh thank you xx
Kazi Mustakim
July 29, 2013 at 11:21 am
I felt really sorry when read your story Beth….Sending my thoughts for you through the universal soul…. Keep writing….wishing you’ll get everything whatever you are pursuing,,,!!
Best wishes my friend…
~ Kazi
writingthebody
August 4, 2013 at 9:35 am
Dear Beth, I have created an award for my dearest bloggers….the free rider….you are on my list…http://writingthebody.wordpress.com/
Comfortably Numb
September 14, 2013 at 10:26 pm
Thank you x
The Irish Wench
August 14, 2013 at 5:49 pm
I so enjoy getting to read your blog posts and seeing you appear in my Reader. Each and every day the writing community here at WordPress is an inspiration to me. I have nominated you for the very fun Super Blog Award! You can find the link below to claim your award. Thank you for being part of my WordPress life and I am looking forward to all the writing we will all share in the future! 🙂
http://ourgrainofsand.wordpress.com/2013/08/14/the-super-sweet-blog-award/
mocha
March 23, 2014 at 7:10 pm
Hey beth. How are things?
Comfortably Numb
March 31, 2014 at 2:25 am
Hey Mocha, long time! How are you? Things are good at the moment thank you; I have a little anxiety over some upcoming things so I’ll be blogging about it shortly in an attempt to wrap my head around it xBx
mocha
March 31, 2014 at 9:37 am
I am ok. I will be hear to read and any advice I could, minus the fluff.