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Washing up

broken dish

broken dish (Photo credit: Tuuur)

Once home from the counsellor I started doing the dishes… Angrily. I think it was a opinionated man …yup found it… who posted here  about positive anger and how much housework gets done when you’re pissed off. Whilst scrubbing twice as hard, wiping twice as fast and slamming them onto the draining board I couldn’t help smiling as I thought back about that post.

It’s true, it’s rather therapeutic and quite metaphorical too. I kept thinking – fine I may not be able to clear up the emotional bullshit… But at least I can literally wipe the crap off these plates… And hard too!
I plunged my hands into the bubbles and realised the water was way too hot… To the point of scolding… Hmm like my husband, nice and inviting on the outside but dangerous and hurty (it’s a word) the deeper you get…wanker!
I slammed down a plate and considered for a second that I could break it if I wasn’t careful… Hmm like my heart! Tough shit… At least it whittles out the shit crockery from the tough stuff lol.

It was so silly and over the top that I couldn’t help laughing out loud –cackling if you will- and feeling a little bit crazy at the same time.

He came in and asked me where I had been… ‘out’
Out where? ‘not here…’

Childish I know but I thought you know what…why SHOULD you know EVERYTHING about me ALL the time? I don’t know the basics about you and we are MARRIED! I can be vague too you know! I don’t DO playing games like that normally, usually I would just say it outright, id answer anything but that day I wanted to prove a point. You’re not having it today…now you can experience the frustration of not knowing the answer to a simple question.

He looked confused and surprised and I knew he felt he was entitled to know…just like I am. He gave an understanding ‘fair play’ nod and left it at that.

A week on he still doesn’t know where I went that day; I’m not proud; I have answered any other questions and been open about everything BUT that (so he doesn’t take it as an example of how we will be from now on)  I will tell him eventually, its not a big deal WHERE I went and I don’t want to force him into telling me things that he isn’t ready to talk about yet, but maybe the day I tell him and he realises that its nothing major he will understand just what its like to have your mind wander WAAAY further than reality.

Regardless…the dishes got done in record time 😉

xBx

 
 

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