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Motivation Muesday

I am now a member :)

I am now a member 🙂

Well…its not Monday anymore… but screw it.
I’ve had a really up and down week (or more) but I managed to tick some of my goals off. Actually writing these posts – as unmotivated as I feel at the time really does help because its so easy to forget what I HAVE achieved during a shitty week so writing them down is kind of like an ‘oh yeah’ moment where you feel a little better afterwards 🙂

So…
Last week I finished one of the books I was reading so one aim for the next week is to review it on here and finally do an Amazon review as promised. I am now starting the next one and so far I like it (even though I’m only a few pages in lol) I’m waiting for a time where I can sit and read a good chunk at my leisure rather than squeezing bits in here and there and only half paying attention so hopefully I’ll get to do that soon 🙂

I made my counselling appointment with the newbie…actually I went one step further and had a full blown session with her there and then…I survived and it was actually good to be surprised with it. It meant I didn’t have the time to fret about it beforehand (or chicken out and cancel) I will write about that more later on…regardless I like her and have the next one booked in the next week or so 🙂

I got paid...I went shopping…I practically forced myself to BUY something to wear as for the first hour or so I wandered around picking things up and then convincing myself I didn’t need or want them and leaving empty handed. I’m so not used to treating myself lol but I ended up with a sweet dress, some practical stuff and a bunch of stuff for other people lol. I still have some set aside for hubbys birthday AND more just ‘in the account’ Saying that its been less than a week ha ha but it feels nice to be able to run out for some milk without counting the pennies and checking the account so I think I’ll be able to curb my spending and stick to what I need- we shall see.

Attempt 1

Attempt 1

Attempt 2

Attempt 2

Also I have been practicing baking and decorating cakes in preparation for his birthday cake. I started with one layer of basic marble cake so it’s a bit flat lol but I just wanted to try icing it… my first attempt was terrible lol HOWEVER I didn’t have a rolling pin so… what’s that saying about blaming their tools? It tasted bloody amazing though!

The second attempt I played with cherries which actually dried the cake out a bit (as did putting it in the fridge) but the decorating improved a bit. Next time I’m going to do 2 layers (stacked) with cream and jam in the middle…mmmmm wish me luck lol

The Shine On Award

I was recently nominated for the Shine On Award by Writing The Body http://writingthebody.wordpress.com/2013/06/25/shine-on-award/  (Thank you very much 🙂 ) Of course it comes with rules -post it, link back, nominate 15 bloggers and share 7 random things about yourself. As always do what you wish with the award…I always do lol

Shine On Award

Shine On Award

7 random things:
I don’t like ice cream
Today I am bloated
I SHOULD be doing housework right now
I reverse parked a disabled van last week and still feel proud of myself
I haven’t bitten my nails for over a month
I keep having nightmares lately :/
I wouldn’t mind going back to bed today

Questions:
1.  Rank these kinds of weather from best to worst: Sunny and hot, misty and cold, rain and cool, snow, ice, windy
My answers: Sunny and hot – Rain and cool – Windy – Misty and cold- snow – ice
2.  Do you like outdoor music festivals?
My answer: No.  Hate them,
3.  Do you like drinking water?
My answer: yes, it used to be all I drank (apart from alcohol lol) but over the last few years tea and coffee has taken over so now it has to be ice cold
4.  Favourite alcoholic drink
My answer: Vodka and coke or baileys
5.  Best drug experience
My answer: I overdosed once (pain meds) when I was a teenager and the hallucinations were hilarious – dangerous of course and stupid and that would never happen again.
6.  Most fun while not taking anything
My answer: lol I don’t ‘take anything’ so I suppose most things that are meant to be fun…
7.  Greatest sorrow:
My answer: 2013

Nominees:
EVERY ONE OF YOU…yes you! I can’t choose a handful of you -especially as I haven’t caught up with anyone on here lately and so many of you inspire me in different ways so I want ALL of YOU to shine on 🙂
If you want this award…you are welcome to it…You deserve it 🙂

My goals for this week:

  • I have been sent 2,000 vinyl singles…yup 2,000! Which I need to sort through and try and sell somewhere… any ideas?
  • I need to get some of these thoughts written down and blogged as they’re taking over my mind a little
  • I will make that double layer cake and it will be great
  • I will be careful with my spending
  • Read & Review

PoGeHaGo:

  • I am happy that my cakes are improving
  • I am happy I got to blog today
  • I am thankful for my best friend from home being just a phone call away

xBx

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Motivation Monday: And she’s back in the game

I am now a member :)

I am now a member 🙂

It’s been over a week since I updated about the world of Beth. It’s been busy – the good kind again. Last week and the next I’m doing extra work hours in the daytime – which is when I used to write- so by the time I’m home in the evening I’m just shattered and not in the mood to write much – plus then it’s cooking, cleaning, hubby time and early to bed so even if I was in the mood there just don’t seem to be enough hours lol.

I mentioned in a previous motivation post that I wanted to get some reading done and start dipping my toes into genres which wouldn’t usually interest me – how do I know this? I don’t!  I’ve not tried reading many other genres so I’m about to find out.

Over the last few months I’ve been sent some e-books to read – beta reading? etc So I’ve been catching up on those – I’m not allowed to blog about them yet as they’re confidential and all that but a few of the short stories have been great! Aside from those I have been lucky enough to get my hands on some rather special previews of 2 books written by some bloggers I follow on here –The Crazy Nigerian and Olivia from the Claymore and the Surcoat– which I am so excited to get my teeth into 🙂 I was sent them after stalking their blogs a week or so back and I have promised to leave a review etc on completion…but I think I will go a step further and leave a few on different sites -including on here- meaning now I need to figure out what makes a good book review lol. I’ve opted to start with the ‘Crazy Nigerians’ book as that one is shorter and so far – only a chapter or 2 in- I am loving it so hopefully I’ll find some spare time to keep charging through that -or I’ll just lose more sleep and stay up later lol.

I managed to get some writing done but not a lot, I did a post for the RCC, one for the Community Storyboard and am currently in the process of collaborating on a post for The MisAdventures of Vanilla which I am excited about but I guess time differences and schedules are getting in the way a little…regardless we will get there in the end. Apologies for not writing more lately, as I said above I have just not been able to get into the right mood to actually get all my thoughts written down. Watch this space though, Beth will bounce back as usual.

I DID manage to sort through some clothes etc but most of the unwanted stuff got thrown as they weren’t worthy of charity shopping and the stuff I kept… Well it’s all near and organised now so that’s something – doubt it will last long though lol

The details of my manual handling course are still pending but in the mean time I’ve been looking up a few short -fun- courses such as cupcake making (I’ve always wanted to do that lol) but there don’t seem to be many near me i.e. in the middle of nothingness so I may just learn from you tube for now. Speaking of cakes it’s hubby’s birthday coming up so I’m going to make him a cake *shock horror* or at least buy one and ice it or something – that way I have an excuse to practice making pretty (or manly) things and he can eat it lol. I tried for the first time EVER over the weekend and it was the ugliest cake I’ve ever seen BUT god it tasted amazing! Plus I didn’t have a rolling pin so had to use a makeshift one (a roll of cooking foil) and with that in mind it wasn’t THAT bad. This weekend I will be stocking up on tools and equipment to scratch my creative itch 🙂

Last week I met my husbands therapist, spoke to his mum AND his sister got in touch…AND it was my final final session with my counsellor – I will leave all of that for separate posts as there is quite a bit to cover.

OH…MY….Guess who I met last week….only THE legend himself BeetleyPete! AND MRS PETE TOO! It was great, we got photos -which I wont post on here- but that was one thing (Pete kindly reminded me) that I wanted to take away from our meet and greet 🙂

I had been a little nervous about meeting him – like with meeting anyone from the internet- both because I think you’re always worried that something will change the way you talk online i.e. dribbling when talking or smelling like a swamp (shallow I know) but luckily Pete (nor Mrs Pete) did either of those lol – and then comes in the danger factor. I learnt a long time ago that people online can be very different in person – heck I’ve learnt the same for the ones you’re married to! lol – Saying that the same goes for meeting any man I suppose- so despite my gut telling me all would be fine I was still prepared to go alone if that was the case – public place, phone calls when I’m leaving, maybe the odd spying friend watching through the window lol.

Needless to say none of that seemed necessary when it came down to it, in fact not only was Mrs Pete there but hubby came too! And not just to make sure I didn’t get kidnapped (adult-napped?) I had asked out of courtesy if he would like to come and to my surprise he said yes – despite knowing that he was about to meet someone whom knew a lot more about him than anyone else he knows (bar me of course) he was fine with it – as was Pete, no judgements, no snide comments which is more than I can say for the few people who know LESS than he does (well done Pete lol) I guess that’s the difference between maturity levels showing there.

As far as goals go it seems I actually didn’t do as bad as I thought, I still need to work on my spelling (only certain words) but everything else is ticked off 🙂

Goals for this week:

  • Make the counselling appointment
  • Buy creative tools and some well needed bits and bobs this weekend with my first full ‘pay check’
  • DON’T spend ALL of it in one go
  • Carry on reading
  • Fit in some blogging

PoGeHaGo

  • I am proud that I managed to ice my first ever cake without killing anyone in the process
  • I am happy that I now understand hubby a little better
  • I am thankful for bedtime reading

Have a good week 🙂

xBx

 
13 Comments

Posted by on June 24, 2013 in Under construction

 

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Feel Good Friday!

20130607-113733 AM.jpg

The last week or so has been busy at the Beth household. I’ve been spending the day doing wifey duties and sunbathing – oh yes she’s got a tan 🙂 – and in the evening I’m off to work. As soon as I get home it’s hubby’s bed time so I’ll go with him and get some zzzzs myself. We are just about settled with that routine but my blogging has taken a back seat whilst the sun is out.

It’s amazing how much healthier you feel with a bit of a tan (safe sunning of course, plenty of cream and water etc) I had my hair done 🙂 my boss painted my nails (and paid ME for it lol) in a bid to stop me biting them and instead pick the varnish. So far the nails and varnish have lasted 2 days so I’m doing well.

Hubby did his test thing for work and doesn’t think it went too well :/ we have to wait till August to see whether he’s right or not but I’m trying to keep positive.

I managed to order his birthday present before anything else 🙂 however it turns out I got the month of his birthday … And the day in theory too wrong so I’m actually a month ahead of schedule lol present WIN … Wife FAIL

I’ve managed to do learn how to spell ‘necessary’ by writing it over and over, training my brain to write it and my fingers to type it.

We are still doing our positive genuines ALMOST every day – one of my goals is to get back to doing it every day.

My three things for today:
-I am thankful for this gorgeous weather
-I am thankful for my job
-I am thankful for WordPress – the outlet to voice my thoughts and the community that comes with it

I’ve been nominated for a few more awards – http://ethicalhedonism.wordpress.com/2013/06/02/its-certainly-raining-awards/

And http://writingthebody.wordpress.com/2013/05/29/very-inspiring-blogger-award-2/

So thank you both for thinking of me – I will do an official post when I get some time.

Finally… I was emailed by a fellow blogger who has experienced the numbness of PTSD, he wanted to try to explain what it was like from my husbands point of view and oh my he did such a good job of it! I asked if I could quote some of his email to share with you as I know many of you are as lost as I am… he said by all means… And then he went one better. He’s going to write a series of posts for me to share with you all explaining what it’s like, all different aspects… From HIS experience (whilst acknowledging that all people are different) so they will be posted in the next few days.

Enjoy your weekend lovely bloggers!

xBx

(Again written and posted from the garden so apologies for spelling)

 
17 Comments

Posted by on June 7, 2013 in Under construction

 

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Busy Busy Beth-an-y

Be Happy

Be Happy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi all 🙂 *waves*

Just an update really as I feel like I’ve gotten out of my routine of blogging (I miss you guys) BUT rest assured when I’m not lurking in the blog-o-sphere I’m usually doing something else that keeps me smiling and positive and feeling really good (yay)

Blogging: I’ve been nominated for a few more awards (yay 🙂 ) which I will do a formal post for later in the week but for now thank you to Charles for nominating me for the Seed of Light Award http://legendsofwindemere.com/2013/05/19/seed-of-light-award/ AND for the Semper Fidelis Award http://legendsofwindemere.com/2013/05/21/semper-fidelis-award/ Which I’ve never heard of before but Charles kindly wrote ‘Fighter to the end, Always coming back stronger, Glad she’s on my side’  Aww – Thank you again.
Last (but certainly not least) is the Lovely Blog Award by Petite Magique http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/three-more-awards/ So thank YOU too 🙂 I am honoured

Also, I have been asked to write every now and then for the RCC and am working on some other posts for other blogs etc so I’m still writing but not as active on here for now. I don’t think I’ll be doing anywhere near as many posts as I was before now that…firstly things are going a little more smoothly at home and secondly due to work and trying to re-shuffle everything around etc I do have some posts ready in my mind but a few of them are about the past and I’m worried about bringing the tone back down to depressing when the reality is that we are doing OK so ill see how I feel when I’ve written them out etc

Regardless… I’m still here, I haven’t abandoned you lol I WILL reply to any comments I’ve missed -I would just rather take the time to read and respond properly rather than half heartedly…and please remember if you ever want a chat etc I always check my twitter (on the right) and email beth.army@yahoo.co.uk or you can get in touch with the ‘contact me’ form at the top of my page…I’m never far away. You’ve all been so supportive and I am so thankful for that so the least I can do is remind you all that I’m always here to repay the favour etc

Work: I’ve been pretty busy with work -yup one week in and I still love it…my last shift we played the wii for an hour…such a hard job 😉

Counselling: I made -and had- my counselling appointment yesterday. It was nice to talk to him about the progress etc with hubby. I told him about ‘gym-gate’ (mentioned here) and even HE pointed out that at no point did hubby ACTUALLY call me fat…OR mention my weight…or that I needed to lose any lol (I knew this really) but we had a laugh about it.

We talked about ‘the friend’ and he said I did the right thing in leaving it open-ended…leaving the ball in her court and basically taking the higher route. He said I’m smart and he doesn’t know HOW I do it but whenever we talk I seem to have analysed the shit out of whatever it is we are talking about and figured it out logically. He said that despite the friend being (a dick) I had still managed to be smart enough to hold my own, stay calm and use tact …acknowledging that SHE has put ME in a corner and presenting HER with that predicament…ultimately asking HER for a solution. He said its clear that I care for her etc but also that I’ve established new boundaries and am pretty much covering my ass and keeping her at arms length.

He recognised that for the last few sessions its almost as if we have been running out of things to talk about…which is good as it means things are progressing and I’m healing 🙂

HOWEVER…he also told me that he’s due to leave soon…like we have 4 sessions left…maximum! *freak out freak out freak out!* I don’t know if I will start talking to the new one as RIGHT NOW I don’t feel the need BUT at the same time I don’t want to have no fallback IF another bombshell gets dropped. Especially not if I would then have to explain all the history to the new one whilst in a state of shock etc SO it may be worth meeting the new one -maybe once every few weeks or something- just for the sake of having someone to talk everything through with as I’m sure he’s going to go through things with his therapist which I’ll want to talk through with mine too …any thoughts?

Speaking of therapy…hubby STILL hasn’t been back to see his :/ its NOT his fault, he’s been called in to work the last few weekends so its just a case of getting the time to go. I’m not happy about it, I feel like its dragging on a bit BUT we are still doing our 3 things each day and getting on well…I just want to carry on making those baby steps as right now we are just kind of drifting -albeit happily- but…I suppose I don’t want to let myself fall into a false sense of security all over again.

Phone date: had my phone date with my friend this eve and it was lovely 🙂 Caught up on loads and overall a really positive convo….glad I made the effort to arrange it 🙂

My photos for my scrapbook are on their way (yay) ….My Tesco order arrived yesterday (double yay)…I got my hair cut and dyed it today…I’m feeling fresh and I like it 🙂

How are you all doing?

xBx

 
15 Comments

Posted by on May 22, 2013 in Under construction

 

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