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AWOL

26 Apr

 

The following has been playing on my mind a lot lately…Let’s call this…Therapy

A few weeks ago I heard news of a shooting on a military base in Texas – Fort Hood.

I didn’t know anyone involved or even anyone living nearby but it affected me massively.

The shooter was a military man, he had a wife and kid(s) and he killed -I believe- 3 people, injured around 14 others and then killed himself.

Apparently this man was suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or something similar… he was troubled in one way or another and to be honest I feel for him. I’ve been in dark places before, thankfully not dark enough to harm others but the thought of harming myself…well it wasn’t out of the question. Looking back I shudder at some of the things I used to think, It actually embarrasses me thinking about it but ultimately I got help, things got better and the only times I look back is to remind myself how far I have come.

I realise that we are never safe, there are bad people out there who will hurt us randomly, we will be in the wrong place at the wrong time…stuff like this happens. To be associated with or linked to a military base always holds that worry of attacks, they are obvious targets and perhaps one reason why I wouldn’t choose to live on the base itself but to have someone FROM the INSIDE do something like this is absolutely terrifying.

I’m sure you can see where the PTSD links have affected me. I know there are different levels of it, different versions even and of course different causes; I know that not everyone with PTSD will end up shooting a bunch of people but the fact that this happened…I don’t know.

What about the people injured, the people who witnessed friends and colleagues die…the family and friends of those people… think of the affect it will have on them. Therapy, Some form of PTSD, alcoholism, drug abuse…you know, things to ease the pain. The anger, the hurt…the breakdown of communication between loved ones. Think how many people would be changed by that day and who would then change their relationships at home. The ripple effect of repercussions is terrifying! Where and how does it end?

I suppose this incident has shown me one extreme outcome but all I keep thinking (apart from about the families of those involved) is ‘his poor wife!’

Did she know he was at this point? Were there signs? What were they? How exactly would you ever assume – or believe- that the person you love would actually do something like this?…and what happens to her now? What on earth is going through her mind? Apparently this woman discovered that the shooter was in fact her husband because they said it on the news! How terrible! They had children, how do you explain to a child why daddy isn’t coming home and why these people are looking at them strangely? How does that family move on from this?

This incident has scared me, for the first time since being married, since finding out everything about my husband… the thought of not really knowing your partner – or what they are capable of- has hit home. I don’t for one minute believe he would do anything like this, or that I would let it get to that point… but I’m sure the Fort Hood shooters wife thought the same thing about her husband.

How do you get past this?

xBx

 

 

 

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4 responses to “AWOL

  1. Green Embers

    April 26, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    Hi there! Gosh, this one is hard. I think the biggest thing is to not let fear rule your life. There are random things that could happen that could kill us at any moment (like a meteorite). The best thing, in my opinion, is focus on all the good things people are doing every day that the news never reports. Look for those things and think that despite what happens in this world, it is a beautiful place.

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      May 1, 2014 at 12:49 am

      You’re right – and thank you. It’s very hard not to get freaked out sometimes – especially when there are triggers involved but you’re right… there is always good somewhere and much beauty in the world. I’ve just got to keep reminding myself and maybe go back to my old ways of positive, genuine, good things each day 🙂 Thanks Bradley – and sorry it’s taken a while to reply xBx

       
  2. Donna Gwinnell Lambo-Weidner

    April 27, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    I would also suggest focusing on the good, B. That’s not to say that we should look at the world through rose-coloured glasses. It’s a good idea to keep our awareness of what’s going on around us in check too. Stay well – hugs.

     
    • Comfortably Numb

      May 1, 2014 at 12:50 am

      Thanks Donna – very true. I suppose some truths are a little more to swallow sometimes and a bit of a shock to the system after a good run
      Positive thinking FTW 😉 xBx

       

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